patrick makes bikini bottom great again
by Gary Thighman
Summary: Warning! This is political parody! If you have opinions, this might be too much for you.


This is a sequel to the Doodle Dimension Plot Leak I posted a while ago. My take on the aftermath of DoodleBob's and Doodleton's reign of terror is as follows.

Bikini Bottom had officially ended with the Doodlite War, and a new government had taken shape. The new country, Squidtopia, was more of a dystopia than a utopia. Perch Perkins and Realistic Talking Fish Head made Squidward's presidency sound favorable, but it was incompetent, overbearing, and corrupt. Often blamed for the corruption was Sandy Cheeks, a stateswoman with aspirations for the presidency.

Patrick didn't buy into the malarkey. A prominent figure in the country and the one most often cited with defeating the savage Doodlites, Patrick was a guy you'd want to have a soft serve with. Patrick had said before that he wanted to take the presidency; no one took him seriously. What really put Patrick on the scene was his outspoken criticisms of President Squidward and his right hand woman, Cheeks.

The day had finally come! President Squidward publicly announced on _Squidtopia Today Show_ that he would not go for a third term. The Resistance Party officially belonged to Sandy. Uncontested, most fish believed Crooked Sandy could easily win the Presidency. The Numbskull Party had yet to produce an attractive candidate. Bubble Bass, founder of the Numbskull Party, had no chance of beating Sandy. She was smart, she was an insider, and she had money. Then, Patrick appeared at the Numbskull National Convention. He insulted his opponent, Bubble Bass, and made witty one-liners and jokes during the heated debate. Patrick, it seemed, had the right stuff. Realistic Talking Fish Head made fun of Patrick's efforts, giving him all the attention and neglecting Bubble Bass' qualifications, arguments, and points. Then, war hero Patrick Star won the Numbskull Party's nomination. He was going to run the presidential race against Sandy Cheeks.

First, both candidates needed running mates: fish who would be Vice President with them. Patrick chose his friend, SpongeBob SquarePants; but Sandy thought long and hard on who she would pick. Someone selfless, someone benevolent, someone the town could trust...

Plankton was the only other war hero in Squidtopia. Election Day drew ever closer as the country fell apart around them due to another President's war. Close to the fateful day, Realistic Talking Fish Head held three presidential debates leading up to Decision 20XX. During these, most attention was given to Patrick. He kept on saying, "Wrong," to artificially disprove Crooked Sandy's facts and opinions. Late night news media loved to make fun of the tubby with stumpy hands and feet. After the debates, Bikini Bottom News released a story that more or less accused Patrick of inappropriate behavior around Pearl, Karen, and Mrs. Puff! To supporters of Sandy Cheeks, the election was a done deal. Patrick had been dealt a final blow, right?

Election Day: Fish walk into voting booths and cast their opinion into the Squidtopia database. Resistance Party members and Numbskull Party members alike will stay up all night to watch the results. Who will win? the populace wondered. The qualified yet corrupt scientists; or the dumb, relatable goofs who have no experience whatsoever.

Two and a half months later, Squidward left the presidency for his tiki land. The guy in charge was President Star! The media, like BBN, had mistreated him, but he overcame! Patrick Star was the second president of Squidtopia, soon to be renamed Numbskull Victory over Resistance Land (also known as N.V.O.R. Land). Later, snail king and investigator Gary found Patrick's whole administration guilty of collusion with a foreign government. With no one left to be in charge, Gary reopened the stargate and abducted the alternate Bikini Bottom Mayor.

Squidtopia's / N.V.O.R. Land's highest office was reduced down to mayor again. The Mayor pardoned Star's administration of it's crimes and once again renamed the country. Now SpongeBob lives in the Bikini Bottom Republic. But what's happening in the Doodleverse without leadership? Someone else entirely seized power; boy, is he abusing it!

Thank you for reading the latest edition of Gary Thighman Fiction.


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